


As If?

by kickassfu



Category: The Magicians (TV)
Genre: Angst, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, is there fluff? i think so lol, past Eliot, this isn't exactly a happy ending because nothing gets resolved, what if in 04x11 Quentin went back and met past Eliot instead
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-04
Updated: 2019-04-04
Packaged: 2020-01-04 17:43:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 976
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18348563
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kickassfu/pseuds/kickassfu
Summary: Prompt: Quentin having to go back to get info about something that can help them with the monster situation. But it's not at brakebills south, so he actually runs into eliot.Until he saw him.It was Eliot, Eliot. He looked carefree and happy and- it was Eliot. He knew he couldn’t say anything, shouldn’t,  but he missed him so damn much and he was right there. Eliot was laughing, and wow. How long had it been since he heard him laugh? His short hair. His suits.Quentin couldn’t look away, or do anything besides gaping at Eliot Waugh, being happy, or just being, really.





	As If?

**Author's Note:**

> A friend really wanted this to be a reality, and I really wanted to do this and break my own heart in the process lol And this is like catharsis for me after that episode. So hopefully, it's good?

This was definitely not how he thought his day was gonna go, going into his past body in Brakebills to find information to defeat the monster,  _ to get Eliot back _ . He just had to avoid everyone and everything, get what he needed and leave, so the timeline remained intact. That was easy, he got this. 

 

Waking up in his bed was great, with no one around it definitely made things easier, he just needed to keep his head down and sneak out. Which he did.

 

_ Until he saw him. _

 

It was Eliot,  _ Eliot _ . He looked carefree and happy and-  _ it was Eliot _ . He knew he couldn’t say anything, shouldn’t,  but he missed him so damn much and he was right there. Eliot was laughing, and wow. How long had it been since he heard him laugh?  _ His short hair.  _ His suits. 

 

Quentin couldn’t look away, or do anything besides gaping at Eliot Waugh, being happy, or just being, really. 

 

_ The mission.  _

 

Right. 

 

He was there for a reason.

 

Which wasn’t Eliot, well, it was to save Eliot, but definitely not to stare at past Eliot.

 

_ How did he always look so good? _

 

He always smelled good too...

 

Oh shit, Eliot was looking his way, now what? He had to leave, like,  _ leave _ . His feet needed to move, away, from Eliot- now!  

 

_ Well, guess not.  _

 

He had lived a whole life but Eliot Waugh was still capable of making him giddy and light-headed with just one look, just one touch; Quentin was so fucked, he should know better, but when a piece of you disappeared you just yearned for it, no matter its state of being.

 

Great, Eliot was now walking towards him...fantastic. He could handle this, without fucking it up. 

 

Right?

 

Except he just wanted to jump into his arms and stay there forever, kiss him till their lungs burned and their lips numbed. 

 

“Quentin, come over and drink with us.” Eliot grabbed his hand, trying to pull him along, but he stayed put, even if his body wanted nothing more than to follow him.

 

“I can’t  _ El _ -iot. I have to go do something. Important.”

 

Words Quentin, use them to make full sentences that make sense.

 

Eliot’s face looked suspicious, - and beautiful, always - as he gave him a little smile, he pulled him upstairs, “Come with me.”

 

“I can’t.” he whispered in vain, not fighting back at all. The feel of his skin was too much, and definitely not enough at all.

 

They were inside Eliot’s room,  _ great _ . Heaven would probably look like this, smell like this-  _ him _ .

 

“Nobody is going to hear us here, so spill it Coldwater. What’s going on?”

 

It’s not like he knew anything, so, “ _ Nothing? _ ”

 

“Bullshit. The way you looked at me downstairs, and how you’re acting, isn’t nothing.”

 

As he spoke, the closer he got to Quentin, as if to emphasize his point, and that was seriously fucking up with his ability to think. Without even noticing he leaned into him, grabbing his tie like it was his lifeline.

 

“ _ Q? _ ” it came out barely a breath.

 

“I’ll tell you, if you know how to erase your memories. Of this.”

 

Shit.

 

Fuck.

 

Fucking idiot.

 

“Obviously, I know. I am incredibly smart after all.” nothing but a whisper, low and steady.

 

“ _ Yeah. _ ” 

 

Their faces were closer now, but this was wrong, he wasn’t his Eliot, not really. And this wasn’t his body, it was his past body sure, but no longer his, not really. He couldn’t, it wasn’t fair. Swallowing dry, he took a step back, and that hurt. So much.

 

“Ok, so. If you get the things ready for the spell, I’ll tell you.”

 

Eliot sighed and did as he asked, “Done. Now, get on with it already.”

 

“I’m from the future. Well, this body isn’t, but my conscience is. I just. Need  _ something _ , so here I am. Do the spell.”

 

“No.”

 

“W-what? You said you would. Don’t do this, El.”

 

“Great, you’re from the future, but why? What the fuck is happening there, that you need to come to the past? And why are you looking at me as if…”

 

“ _ As if? _ ”

 

“ _ As if I’m the love of your life _ . But you miss me. Did I die?”

 

“ _ No! _ You’re not dead. I won’t- wouldn’t let you die, don’t worry. Everything is fine, this is like an errand for Dean Fogg, nothing is wrong. At all.”

 

He was rambling, he couldn’t even lie properly; to be fair he wasn’t expecting any of this to happen. Obviously, Eliot looked unconvinced, but he let it go, to focus on the other detail that Quentin didn’t want to talk about either.

 

“You love _ me. _ ”

 

He wasn’t sure if it was a statement, or a question, but he avoided it anyway, “Eliot, I really need to go.”

 

Taking a step closer Eliot hugged him tight, so tight Quentin wanted to cry. A few tears he couldn’t hold back, rolled down his cheek, and Eliot kissed his head in a comforting manner.

 

“Fine, go on then.” he said, as he prepared to do the spell.

 

Door open, and ready to leave, to leave him, to lose him again, Quentin looked back one last time, “I do love you.”

 

Eliot smiled, as if that was harder to believe than him being from the future, and then the memories were gone, and Quentin was far, far away from him.

 

Quentin managed to get what he needed and when he got back to the present, he felt hopeful once again, that they could do this, that he’d get Eliot back. He had to. 

 

Unsure of what he’d do if it didn’t work, he was drowning and the only thing that brought him any sort of peace, was that laugh of so long ago, and that hug that broke his heart and mended it at the same time.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm also kickassfu on tumblr~~


End file.
